Plant Lore

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I don't know what to do anymore...so I thought maybe writing would help. So far it doesn't help a damn bit, but I guess I should stick with it to see. Essentially, I'm so broken I can't think straight. Conner is back...and now we're dating. Opel kissed Conner and he told her that he loved her...right in front of me. And now I'm pretty sure Opel hates me, but won't tell me because of who knows what reason. I know she's pretty pissed that I had asked her to not talk to or hang out with Conner along for a little bit. She thinks it's because I don't trust her, but that's not it at all...I was so scared that if things between Conner and I weren't established in some sort of fashion, that I would loose him yet again. And I don't think I could handle it. I'm already a negative and pessimistic person. Let's not add more to that cluster f**k. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure the whole school is going to hate me after everything that's happened. Not that they didn't hate me before, but now it's just even more prevalent. I just don't know what to do and I honestly don't know if I care anymore. I'm happy. For the most part at least. I don't need friends to make myself happy. See, there goes the pessimistic person in me again. I'm also thinking about talking to Jean. I think a lot of my issues are from what happened to me a couple years ago. I'm hoping that maybe it will get better, that things will get better. If I finally talk to someone about it. On the plus side if this writing thing doesn't work, I'm trying in sword play with Achilles. It's been fun but grueling. I'm serious about it though. I'm sick of only being able to use the plant abilities to fight. I feel...useless. But I guess that's the least of my worries right now. I have everyone hating me...my boyfriend seems...distant. And my best friend, well I'm pretty sure she hopes I die in a fire.

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Well, she gets her way. Conner and I decided to call it quits before anything even started. Neither of us can bare to see her so upset over all of this and neither of us know what else to do about it. So we're gonna just stay friends and hope that she can handle at least THAT. I can't believe the things I do for this girl.

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Opel is dead to me. End of story. She's a worthless piece of crap to me and nothing in my eyes. It wouldn't kill me to never have to hear or see her ever again. Hope she's happy.

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Reading my last entry I have to say wow. I was really mad. And now, I'm completely confused about everything. I'm dating Willie again, but I don't get to see him much. I really do miss him though. On top of it, I'm having a really hard time just being friends with both Opel and Conner. I just don't know what to do. I guess I'll eventually figure it out, I just eventually was ten seconds from now and not eventually. Classes are going pretty well and I've made a ton of progress in the green house. I only have a little bit left to take care of. Then I'm going out to find a place in the woods where I can be when I'm that upset. If I ever get that way again. I've also met someone who is very interesting and pretty bad ass. Her name is Yuki. She's amazing to say the least. And she's got some really awesome powers too. I'm hoping to get to know her a little better in the future times if I can. She's given me some pretty cool ideas with my powers. All in all things are getting better. Which makes me wonder when the next blow up will occur....

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A lot is changing and I don't exactly know how I feel about it all. While I'm getting to know new people and working on things with Conner....there are still the ever present naggings that something is just going to blow up again. Some one will get pissed at me for what ever reason and I'll loose.....as always.
Jubs is pretty pimp s**t. Someone I'm learning to bond with and I think that's a good thing to tell you the truth. I don't think I've actually had a closer friend.
Conner is trying to get better, and I see that he is. I'm just afraid that once everything goes right with him, he'll drop me like a bad habit. After all, a super can't date a villain's kid right?
Opel is....I don't know what to do with her anymore. She's changed and she's clingy all off the sudden and I just...I don't know how to handle it. On top of everything else I'm still freaked out over what happened...I don't know if it's time I need to get over it or space, but both seem to not be in my favor.