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OMG
Aug 26, 2011 20:20:03 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Aug 26, 2011 20:20:03 GMT -5
-Day after fight with Charlie about her not wanting Opel around Conner without her present.-
So yes I got in a fight with my best friends. Its not my fault they had a rocky relationship. I should be the one upset. They are the ones who said they cared about me then went behind my back and went out. That happened right after I told him I liked him and kissed him. I hate them. Then the other guy i like just left. Yes he left for a good reason but it really sucks. I just wish he didn't have to go though. I am so sick and tired of all this. I want to go and strangle my two best friends. I really can't believe they would do that to me after I had a mental break down. Then she had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't hang out with him because she didn't trust me alone with him. If she has no trust in her own boyfriend why are they even in a relationship in the first place. They are so not on my family list anymore. Right now I don't know what to do with them anymore. I just want to retry our friendships and if it doesn't work then we will end up being team mates only and nothing else.
So called best friends are Charlie and Conner.
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OMG
Aug 27, 2011 13:50:23 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Aug 27, 2011 13:50:23 GMT -5
-Next day-
I am tired of the fights. If my friends can't trust me why are we even friends. I can't wait til break. I get to go back home and see my mom.I also need to go and talk to my sister. Wont that be fun. After I tell her everything that's been happening she is going to be pissed. I am going to keep her away from Conner and Charlie. That is if I even want to. I really can't wait to tell her. At least then it will be off my chest. I also have to talk to Alex and Riley. I will tell them then have to keep Riley away from the two evil ones. I wish I could go back in time and keep my feelings to myself.At least then I would have to worry about the trust issues with Charlie. I want to have when I left not to have come back or when I did not talk to Charlie and Conner again. At least until I could fully be over it but I am not. I just hate this and them. I feel that I am redoing what happened to me right before I came to the mansion.
So before I came to the mansion I told a boy I liked that I liked him. Then he told me he didn't think that we could date because he was to messed up at the moment and couldn't be in a relationship. Then I told my best friend and she got pissed off because she was in love with him and didn't want to talk to me for a while. I went out of town for a while and when I came back they were a couple. They told me that I was still there friend and didn't want to change that. So I hung out with the boy then my crazy ex- best friend told me she didn't want me hanging out with him with out her around to supervise.So that but a hold on our friendship. Then she said that she was sorry and wanted to be friends again. That she was just scared of loosing him. I had to tell her that if she couldn't trust that her boyfriend would leave her for another girl why were they even in a relationship. I tried to be okay with it but I couldn't and she could tell. So I lost her as a friend. And now I feel like it is happening all over again. I can't take feeling like that again. It makes me want to curl up in a ball and die.
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OMG
Aug 28, 2011 0:42:36 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Aug 28, 2011 0:42:36 GMT -5
I messed up big time. I had to go to the infirmary this time. I need to get the two of them back together. they love each other and if I love them I have to put here feelings before mine.I have a plan on how to do that but I don't know if it will work. I will just have to wait and see. I hope it does. I need it to. I need to make everything normal again.
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OMG
Aug 29, 2011 21:52:21 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Aug 29, 2011 21:52:21 GMT -5
So I talked to my best friend and now we are working on getting back to being friends. I am glad on that but I still have to talk to the other best friend. That will not be as easy though. He is upset more than she was. Wont that conversation be fun . I can't wait.
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OMG
Sept 4, 2011 22:36:18 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Sept 4, 2011 22:36:18 GMT -5
So I am trying to pull myself together. I am hoping that I wont have a bad time recovering.I still need to have a conversation with my other best friend. That wont be fun. I am scared but ready to get it over with right now. I will be fine after a little while. or maybe i wont but I will have to wait and see.
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OMG
Oct 2, 2011 8:11:56 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Oct 2, 2011 8:11:56 GMT -5
Okay so I am still recovering but at least I have my best friends back. Way happy about that. I am now getting used to just being in the friend zone with Conner and Charlie. I have to repair my friendships with both of them. Not looking forward to the talk with my sister. Oh yeah I almost forgot. I am planning on taking some friends out for a karaoke night in New York............ I am am helping Charlie sing and teaching Jez earth dance and she is teaching my her dances.
Oh on top of that I still feel like I am going crazy. I can't think straight which really sucks for me. I can't wait for this to be over so that I could just start over. I wonder if any of my friends could go back in time and stop me.
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OMG
Oct 9, 2011 19:20:44 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Oct 9, 2011 19:20:44 GMT -5
If I leave this time I might never come back. I shouldn't let them get to me. Charlie and Conner are dead to me. They got what they wanted. I am out of there way. Maybe I will be for good. I am not a yoyo to be toyed with. I can't deal with this anymore. I wish I could erase my memory of this whole mess. I really can't keep it together any more. I am going stay away from Conner and Charlie for a while until I calm down. Maybe I should just stop being there friend maybe thats what they want. I can't stand either one of them. I hate crying over them. It really suck. Why can't I just move on with my life. I need a trip to town with my girlfriends. Maybe that will relax my body and help me get rid of all this tension. Okay bye for now journal <3 Opel O.L.P.
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OMG
Nov 5, 2011 20:24:04 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Nov 5, 2011 20:24:04 GMT -5
So I was in the infirmary again. It was half my fault. I kinda kissed charlie while we where at the beach. I will never fully understand why I did though. I am so confused on what to do. I don't want to not hang out with her but I have no idea what to do with her anymore. Okay other then that little mishap I hung out with Conner again. The plus to that was it didn't end in a argument this time which I was totally a plus. I seriously need to talk to Felicia though. She will flip when she finds out about everything that happened and is going to look at me funny when I tell her about Charlie. Which will be fun to talk to her about. She already doesn't like her so it should be fun but she might end up trying to hurt Conner which I have a big problem with. So I have to also talk to my sister again which should be fun plus I have to rest even more now. Bummer I hate resting. I wish I could just have someone in the room with me who wont nag at me and someone will keep me company. So I need to convince one of my friends to come sit with me or kidnap me so I don't have to rest. I hate this. Why do I have to be the one going crazy? I should of just told Conner and not kissed him and told Charlie that I liked Conner way before I told him. I should of just told both of them the truth. Well I guess I should get some rest so I can hang out tomorrow <3 Opel O.L.P
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OMG
Mar 21, 2012 20:31:09 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Mar 21, 2012 20:31:09 GMT -5
I have everything figured out now. I will start all the way over with Chalie and then work everything out with Conner. So we have two new girls named Eden and Lea . I like Lea but if we become friends I can kinda see us as friendamies and I feel that Eden has suspicious feelings toward me ......But watever I am just trying to be nice so let her feel that way. I gotta get some rest so that I will be able to set up for my sleep over tomorrow
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OMG
Jun 18, 2012 22:59:18 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Jun 18, 2012 22:59:18 GMT -5
I am actually not feeling that hot as of recently. I don't feel like myself any more. What has happened to me? Any way I got to hang with Charlie which was cool but I think shes mad at me and I don't know why. Its not like I have been hanging out with Conner behind her back.I don't even talk to him right now and doubt I will again for a while. So she is seriously confusing me. I just wish a lot of things happened differently. I also got to have a talk with Alex. That conversation just made me not want to talk to Conner even more.I am tired of his messes.I wish I had a way to hit Conner with out having to worry about breaking a bone. I so don't want a case. It will not match anything that I love to wear. At least one good thing has happened lately.Lok-vel actually came back.He owes me ice cream. just me and him because he promised right before he left that we would when he came back. So that makes me a little happy. I believe I need a break away from the mansion for a while. Especially as of now. I need to get out of the mansion and go do something with my sister. That way I can try and get back to being the real me not this fake me. The fake me confuses me way too much so I need time and I believe that might even mean time away from my friends here but I might get to see my mom if I get out of the mansion for a little while with my lbug sister. It will give me a reason to go R&R shopping which is always a good way to release the old me but I also need to stop with the Conner stuff. Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.I told myself to stop saying his name when I right. I seriously need to get out of thid mansion before I totally loose my mind.
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OMG
Nov 3, 2012 13:13:18 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Nov 3, 2012 13:13:18 GMT -5
Okay so I haven't wrote in a while but I believe I should again. So I have worked some things out. I have one of my besties back. Yay. But I still have to work on the guy one. He is REALLY being a pain in my butt. So that is kind of suckish. Plus Cynthia died and I totally tried to push that to the back of my mind but it just caused me more problems for me. I seriously need to talk things out and stop keeping them to myself. So other than that I am going to talk to my sister today.I am going to finally ask her about why she hates our father so much. I just don't get it so I am confused why she and trinity and Logan all hate him. I have a right to know. So i am not truly looking forward to that. At least I can talk to one of my besties later if I need too. I have a long day ahead of me. I also have to get back to my daily jogs that I haven't been doing lately. That I might try to get someone to come with.I hate going running by myself that used to be something I did with Chris. I really do miss him but things between us aren't the same. SOOOOO I will have to find a new jogging partner.
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OMG
Nov 22, 2012 23:37:27 GMT -5
Post by phantom on Nov 22, 2012 23:37:27 GMT -5
So things are finally getting better. I asked my sister why she hated our dad . I kind of get it but there are still some details that I would like to know but its fine. My dad is a bad person thats it. My sister told me that if i need a male figure to talk to Logan would be the best. I guess she is right there but iI still miss my dad. I am just confused. So Alistair is anice guy. He isnt from this world and tells me I have a neice in his world named sally which I remind him of. He says that they are good friends so I am happy to be his friend if it makes him feel more at home and relax here then Im fine with it. I am going to go see if charlie wants to come with me to go see my horse/baby Lana today. So i will tell you what happens tomoorow
<3 Opel L. Pryde
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OMG
May 19, 2013 15:23:16 GMT -5
Post by phantom on May 19, 2013 15:23:16 GMT -5
So I'm am done being confused about feelings about people. The past is the past. It should stay there and be done with. So I through if the people I care about are happy then I am too. The people in my life being happy is more important than me being happy. I will be content seeing others happy rather than miserable and blaming themselves for things. I love my friends and always will. Yet friends are ment to be friends nothing more nothing less. They can be family but nothing romantic. I get that now. I just want to have what I sister has with Trinity. Be happy like she is when their together. Thats all I want. I want to be in a relationship that makes me happy and calm. Is that too much to ask for?? Well I am going to gotalk to my friends and convince them to all come to New York with me. We all need a day off to relax and hang out with friends. Plus I am planning on Calling Chris to see if wants to up with me at our favorite restaurant that we used to go once a week for our best friend dinner and make fun of all the cute couples around. I really do miss him. I just hope he's still not mad that I never told him bye when I left to come to the mansion. I really do need that friend back from my old life he was my strength when I needed him and my fake boyfriend when guys were hitting on me and freaking me out when we hung out. I will get my Chris back in my life no matter what.
<3 Opel L. Pryde
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Post by phantom on Aug 2, 2014 18:56:42 GMT -5
SO I havent wrote in a while sorry. I have been having a great couple days so I am happy. My nightmares are mostly gone now. Thanks to Jean. She rocks. I am getting my friendship worked out with Charlie. I am trying with Conner but it hasnt really done anything. I have also gone on a date with Al. He really is a sweet guy and I am glad we have met. He is my dance partner now which is fun. I am running more in the mornings like I used to. It has really helped me to relax and start to get back to my old self. I am ready for the next rock to over come in my like. I know I can take it now.
<3 Opel L. Pryde
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OMG
Sept 8, 2015 7:20:48 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by phantom on Sept 8, 2015 7:20:48 GMT -5
So it's official, Alistair and I are a couple. I'm so excited. He is an amazing guy and I'm happy to be dating him. Classes start back up soon. Oh... I've been working on a new song, but it's not done yet.I got the melody down but I'm still working on the words. The words haven't been coming to me like they used to. But I'll figure it out, I always do. But for now I'll just keep trying to figure it out. I'll keep you updated with everything, promise.
<3 Opel L. Pryde
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